Freedom of consequence

December 22, 2013

On a cold and wintery night a very smart fellow determined that one of the laws of the universe was that, “for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction.” On many occasions in my life I have been caught on the horns of a dilemma in which I have made decisions which tore at my heart many years after the incident.

Most of these involved petty, non life-threatening incidents which could have been resolved through quiet discussion; however, I used the opposite tactic and went into a rage, demanding things be resolved to my satisfaction. I gained nothing and lost respect in the eyes of those with whom I associated. One incident was during the forced sale of our wonderful home in Orem. Everything was completed except the transfer of funds and recording of the deed. A small and inconsequential issue regarding singular or plural appliances had marred the deal a few days earlier and five hundred dollars was required to cure the problem. This wart on the incident made me feel badly toward this cute, young couple purchasing our dream home. I drove up to our home just as the very young, impressionable new owner arrived and she very excitedly shared with me that the selling agent had given her the key and that she was going in to start arranging things in her new home. Instead of nicely sharing how the law worked with her, I told her to contact her attorney-father and get the information regarding when they would be able to take possession.

Recently a life-time friend passed away of bad cancer of the esophagus. In his early life he had been a strong member of the Christian community – a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints but as a truck driver had taken up smoking, drinking, and sleep altering pills that allowed him to stay up and drive, even at the peril of his and others’ lives. He became consumed with things that were of little or no consequence including sexual activity outside of marriage. In the end he gave everything temporal for the whims of the day. From the Old Testament comes the statement, “. . . as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.” Each of us has one go-around on this giant merry-go-round of life. We only take with us through the veil our intelligence, our faith, and our knowledge of God and his kingdom. His consequences were severe and non-refundable.

In recent years many “false prophets” have declared their allegiance to the dark side – the side which declares that things are not perfect on this earth. A minister shared a comment regarding the day on which we should gather and worship. His was the “Sabbath is on Saturday” comment which we have all heard on many occasions. Instead of discussing and sharing scripture and perspective, the incident turned into one in which incrimination, loud loathing, and hurt feelings became the action of the day. The consequences of this interaction were severe. Nothing positive was accomplished and all went away uninformed, unhappy, and disillusioned. In my “youth deficiency” years I am trying to recover some of those understandings I have learned over a lifetime of missed opportunities.

We are three days from Christmas. May I humbly suggest that each of us do what I asked my students to do on the first day of class for decades; namely, look around; find someone that looks different, sounds different, walks different, or in some other way intrigues you. Talk to that person and get to know and understand why he/she is “different.” Find commonalities and share them. Determine to understand, not simply come to conclusions which are based on superficial glances and faded memories of someone that reminded you of what that person may, or may not have looked, or been like. Back to the wonderful teachings of our Savior, Jesus Christ; the first and great commandment, love God with all your heart, mind, and strength; and the second, love your fellowmen as you love yourself; don’t forget the last part is to love yourself – you are a child of our Heavenly Father.

God bless you as you traverse the rocky roads of life, especially as we look to bless others at this Christmas time of giving.

Duane Jacobs, grandfather, father, brother, uncle, cousin, and friend