Bucket list item 23 - Removing the Beam

February 23, 2014

Yesterday I observed and participated as a family worked to remove beams and motes from their sight and lives. My sister, Lola Lynda Jacobs was eulogized in a beautiful service in which her six remaining children and the spirit of one who had gone before shared their love and respect for her. Lynda contributed much to the world through sharing her writing, her understanding of life, and her desires to bless her children and grandchildren.

To those who she upset, or otherwise made uncomfortable, please understand that each of us do things, say things, imply others, and omit even more. In other words, we all have warts. When I look back over the sixty four years of her life, I am struck with the image of a passionate person that wanted to do good things. Did she always do things the right way? Did she always look at things the same as others? Did she, through her sometimes foggy mind, craft things that were distorted, or otherwise misleading?

The answer is a resounding yes; however, before we get to heavy into righteous indignation, please consider the same questions about ourselves. In preparing for shoulder surgery in the near future I had to undergo many tests on my heart, lungs, veins, and general health to determine if I would be able to have the surgery without undue incident. I couldn’t help comparing this series of intermediate tests to life. We all have tests in life. How do we fare in the final assessment?

When asked if we were speeding by a police officer do we fabricate or distill facts? When we take tests or other validations of certifications, do we cheat? When we are angry with our spouse or friend do we find others more appealing and risk all by flirting or going too near the edge? When we don’t get our way at work, at home, at play, or in life do we blame others; blame, family, blame friends; or blame God?

Jean and I witnessed an episode by a young man as he crashed mentally and was taken by ambulance to a nearby hospital where he was treated for a chronic panic attack disorder. Most of us grew up distancing ourselves from such maladies and decrying them as nonsense. Now let’s get real. We are all different. We all have divergent thought patterns and reactions to our environment. In a sense we are all a bit crazy. Our job as Heavenly Father’s children is to love God, love his children (all of us), even our enemies as we love God; then, the last part; love ourselves. We are all lovable, capable, and worthy of His love, and of our own.

While at the funeral service for my sister I met a young man I am guessing to be about nine. He is wheel-chair bound and unable to speak. I had a wonderful visit with him and as I was talking to him he shared with me that he wanted “etta”. His mother said, “oh, that’s Rietta. That is one of the few words he can say.” Rietta is my wonderful niece and as she came into view, the calls for “etta” came louder and more distinct and a beautiful friendship was continued. That in my opinion is Godly love. The kind of understanding that transcends all earthly constructs.

My resolutions is to work diligently at removing any obstacles from my perspective that will hinder understandings between my wonderful bride Jean and me; between my children, grandchildren, nephews, nieces, siblings, and any others so that I may see them as they are. Children of a loving Heavenly Father who has only one desire – to see each of us achieve our potential so we can, in turn bless the lives of others.

God bless us all as we move through live. May we understand and love those around us.

Duane Jacobs, grandfather, father, brother, uncle, cousins, and friend