The ironies of life

January 17, 2015

This writing or anything else I might have written should never be construed as a condemnation of any person. My glass house would never withstand the blows. Virtually all the things I write are primarily for my benefit. If, through experiencing vicariously, the rock head things I have done, or the opportunities I have to be blessed by the spirit, you are able to benefit, it warms my heart.

My wife Jean and I have gone through just about every conceivable experience known to man. We have seen highs and lows that equal the tallest mountains and the lowest valleys in the darkest oceans. We have had very serious discussions (code for knock down drag out verbal battles; had some of the most spiritual, angelic moments of eternal bliss; had more than our share of temporal blessings including the blessing of having sufficient for our needs in our retirement years; and times when we were forced into bankruptcy because of decisions we made (well, mostly me) dealing with how to use our lives to assist others. During every moment of these past fifty years, we have been guided by the Spirit of God through absolute interventions of personal revelation by the Holy Ghost. We all have our personal cross to bear. A new friend, having questions about her marriage, asked our secret to marriage survival. My beautiful sweetheart gave her the best answer I have ever heard. She replied that ours wasn’t a secret at all. It was given to us by her loving parents and the Temple when we married. Our marriage was eternal. It was going to be difficult. It was going to be full of ups and downs, children, and jobs. It would take daily prayer and understanding and would require much concession; something about each being responsible for 90 percent of the things that happen. A few years into our marriage I made the huge mistake of grousing to my mother about jean. She stood up way past her four foot eleven and three quarters, put one hand on her hip and the other rather bony finger in my chest and said as clearly as the Clarion bells at BYU, “buddy, you made your bed, now sleep in it”. I got lots of messages that day; all of them for my very best welfare.

Ten years ago one of my friends would sit quietly – too quietly – in his office right next to mine. I would pound on the door and declare that we needed to go get some lunch. He would begrudgingly open up and we would go over to the student center, order some lunch and then he would go over and get way too close and uncomfortable sensual with some of our young lady students. This was not a fleeting, one-time experience, but one that occurred at least once a week for months on end. I pulled him aside and warned him of the consequences of living too near the flame; to which he fanned innocence and questioned my thoughts about his intents. One day, right after the Christmas break, we received a note on campus Email from the Vice President of Academics, telling that Mr. Blank had left the college by way of resignation and had cleared out his office and would no longer be an employee. Of course the grapevine was ripe with the vicious fruit of gossip giving all kinds of possible accounts. To this day the mystery is in the detail; in the hearts of those with whom he worked to sever his cords to the college. I still miss him and wish him well. He was a fine professor, friend, and addition to the college. He simply made decisions that disallowed his further association.

I believe each of us on the face of the earth take mental and actual steps that make us vulnerable to the constant darts, innuendos, subtle notions of the devil and his legions; calling us to the dark side and encouraging us to let loose of the Iron Rod (The Spirit of God) and just sin a little here and a little there and slowly, just like a swirling toilet let ourselves be dragged down to the other side. I have been amazed in recent years with a very distinct split between those who determine that spirituality is for sissies and losers; and those who study, learn, pray, observe within their “faith”, and actively seek the blessings of heaven. Watch for yourself. Those who find illicit passions and desires over holding the iron rod are constantly looking for ways to enhance their gods of lust, money, and greed, never to be satisfied; while those who have faith hope and charity find greater joy in all their experiences.

Life is that we might have joy and joy comes from loving and sharing with others. God bless each of us that we can have lives of personal peace and joy.

Duane Jacobs, friend, uncle, cousin, brother, husband, father, and grandfather