The honor in sharing

November 23, 2014

We just spent some heavy capital. Every single one of us used up one entire week of our life doing something. The real question is what did we do that goes in the positive column? We can’t get the time back; we can’t store it for a later date; we simply go on to the next day, week, month, and year spending until it is all gone. Friday we attended a grave-side funeral for Howard Shaffer’s sister. The beautiful part of this experience was the life stories and testimonies shared by family and friends. They told how Ellen had touched their lives as she used her capital. One cousin and one niece shared a special name she had given them which made them feel special and wanted. Others talked about her pension for teddy bears and movies and how those elements in her life had blessed them. I was particularly moved as a supervisor while she was on an LDS mission as an adult talked about the dedication and determination with which she carried out her responsibilities. The most touching part of the service was the dignified and honorable manner in which my friend Howard organized and led the service. He spoke with sincerity, deep emotion, and understanding of the eternal plan of happiness.

Today our daughter and the four children at home; Elena, Michelle, Jake, and James joined Diane in a work project at our house. They came in like a whirlwind, cleaned, scraped, moved stuff, organized shelving, and painted (the entire bathroom). I believe that they used their capital wisely. As most families, they always have their calendars full to the brim, but they made this special effort to bless Grandmother and me. One of the most difficult things for me to do is to ask for and/or accept help on anything; however, as I generate more and more youth deficiency I find that those things that I used to take for granted are no longer available. The neat thing is that I have found ways to help in other ways. I don’t have to build the house, I just have to share ideas, be a go-between, a gopher running for materials and labor, and generally helping things to happen. In spiritual matters things run pretty well the same way. Because of the time and capital I have put into life, I seem to have a reasonable amount of logic and spiritual testimony to share with those who find themselves wandering off in odd directions.

Thirty years ago I was a home teacher (LDS person who periodically visits a person in their area as a friend) to a young family. The father had an extremely difficult time staying outside of jail. He had a great gift of gab, good looks, and sticky fingers. He would sit, listen, and participate in our discussions in his home; then, go out and do his five finger discount activities, get drunk, and go back to jail. The last time I heard from him was in a letter in which he thanked me for trying to help him and his family. He acknowledged that he only participated to satisfy his wife so she would thing that he was trying. He shared with me that he had wasted virtually all his life to that point in prisons of steel, alcohol, deception, and general disrespect for all he had. He really meant to get out of jail, get back with his wife and children, get a job, and start using his capital correctly. This was a real person with a real wife and family that had real plans for “going straight”. The sad, sad part of this story and 70 to 85 percent of offenders, regardless of their illegal interest is that they will just keep the revolving doors of the penal system oven going in and out until they die. Hopefully he was one of the few who chose to walk along the iron rod and use his capital wisely.

As fathers, as children, as husbands and  wives, as friends, and as people who have an ounce of goodness and a little nudging from the Holy Ghost, I want to try my very best to be observant, to listen to the promptings, and do what I can to give of my time – my capital – to those around me. I know more people than I care to count who have physical, mental, and spiritual challenges too great to manage on their own. I want to use the rest of my time capital in doing what-so-ever I can to be in the Lord’s service and share what I have.

God bless us all as we move forward in our lives helping to help life people up to attain their potential.

Duane Jacobs, grandfather, father, husband, uncle, brother, cousin, and friend